Northern Sky

Lozen & Co

Jun 01, 2025

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Healthy boundaries are 
not walls. They are gates 
and fences that allow you 
to enjoy the beauty of 
your own garden.
lydia hall

Your child’s job is to test limits. Your job is to hold them.

Setting Boundaries with Children:

*Wall and Door limits are a clever analogy used by Sandy Blackard in her indispensable and super easy to read book Say What You See.

Brain Tease

Self Inquiry Journal: Boundaries

The struggle with boundaries can manifest in many ways. It can be damaging to relationships. Leave you feeling lonely and resentful. Lead to burnout, etc. Take a look at yourself this next week/month/year and observe (without judgement) your reaction to others boundaries and/or how you set boundaries(or not). Stay in Wonder as you observe and discover.

Journal Reflection:

This is an interesting one for me. I don’t typically have trouble in conflict, so I don’t generally struggle with setting boundaries with other people - if anything I can stand to relent a little. I do notice setting boundaries for myself is difficult. Ex. With sweets, I’ll say I’m just going to have one and four later I’m having to throw it way to control myself. (I usually just don’t buy it in the first place, or make sure there’s ppl to share with) OR I’ll tell myself I’m going to spend 20 min stretching and strengthening because I’m in pain or 20 min in meditation because I’m a better person when I do… However, I’ll maybe get 5 min in before I have something else I “should” be doing. (Setting a timer and committing to the bell works wonders… I just haven’t been doing it) » » I do know that it is Big Work remaining calm when setting boundaries with my children if they’re fighting the boundary... Here’s what I’ve seen work for me, I have to practice the pause and remind myself to speak slowly, the less I can say the better. Stay kind and firm. Tone is everything for my own sanity and also to keep the kids from becoming totally disregulated. I realized I have to stay accountable to keep them accountable, which sometimes feels like the hardest thing in the world. I’m improving at this… like I said Big Work.